A word to my critics

Lately I have been having a hard time at work. The culture there is oppressive, discourages initiative and loves micromanagement. Some of the senior staff seem to have targeted me as a trouble maker and are intent on seeing me fail. This is discouraging. Because of this pressure and constant scrutiny I find that I am making the very 'mistakes' they claim to be trying to help me with. I become nervous and the over-thinking and looking over my shoulder is burning me out on a ward I didn't ask to be posted to in the first place, but I digress. 

Today a pt reported that they have severe pain that was not there yesterday. They had informed nurses on the previous two shifts - nothing had been done about it other than pain relief. I on the other hand inspected the site, determined that the area was swollen, warm and painful to touch. I then informed the doctor directly (which is frowned on in this ward... You should tell the coordinator—who already knew—more stifling of initiative). The doctor said it was the first they had heard about it, ordered an X-ray which subsequently showed that the metalwork holding a broken bone together had snapped. This is what a good nurse does: they listen, they observe and they act. Anyone who thinks I can't do my job can ask this patient - they'll tell you what's the score. 

In closing I thought I'd post a brilliant quote that I used to encourage a friend today and in doing so reminded myself what's important: to stay in the fight and see it through. 

"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."

I know who I am
Christopher

Honesty is NOT the best policy

Wait. What?
My recent experience has been that in the best interest of your career, compliance is expected and lying is what is called for to achieve this.
Throughout my upbringing and then again at university, the virtues of honesty have always been championed. Lies were the sign of a flawed character and should never be entertained nor tolerated. I happen to believe this and have tried to apply it in both my personal and professional life. I have always tried to be upfront and admit when I have made a mistake or have not done the right thing.

This attitude has led me into some trouble over the last nine months at work. I have been pulled up on some of the weak areas of my nursing, to which I have agreed with and have tried to work with my superiors to correct. Instead of being recognised as having the maturity and professionalism to admit mistakes and then attempt to improve, I have been "marked" because of those mistakes. It has followed me now across three wards and two campuses. When others in my position may lie about their performance or fly under the radar, I have always maintained that I am a good nurse that has areas to grow in. I am a good nurse because I recognise my limits and have tried to put measures in place to improve my practice. This has not been counted as a positive, simply as an excuse to ignore me if I ever bring to light issues similar to mine on the ward. Because no one else admits to the problem, there is no problem. This is dangerous because it puts patients health into more jeopardy than being honest about a situation.

I did the right thing and my career has suffered for it, perhaps fir as long as I continue my nursing. Honesty may nit have been the best policy, but it was, is, and always will be the right thing to do.

Christopher

Just testing

I'm having trouble finding time to get my thoughts together and sit at a computer so I'll try and post from my phone while on the train. If this works it will be a win. Does anyone have a good treatment for iPhone thumb... Feels like they are gonna snap off somedays! Anyway if you are reading this you can expect a 30day challenge post up soon!

Peace out

Christopher

30 Day Challenge

The best thing to do when you want to do something is start. This is terrible advice and I hope no one follows it, but in the case of putting my thoughts out there (thought broadcasting if I was mentally unwell, thought projection if YOU are mentally unwell.

A twitter friend suggested to make a start via blogging a 30 day challenge. I'm not very good at sticking with things so I am going to make an effort with this to show myself I am in fact "more" than what I have been lead to believe. I hope you enjoy what is to come and excuse me for my short-comings and over exagerations. Gee, I hope this thing has spell check!

Here's how it works - post every day for 30 days :

day 1- a recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

day 2- the meaning behind your blog name

day 3- a picture of you and your friends

day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have

day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to

day 6- favorite super hero and why

day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

day 8- short term goals for this month and why

day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days

day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad

day 11- another picture of you and your friends

day 12- how you found out about blogging and why you have one

day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently

day 14- a picture of you and your family

day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play

day 16- another picture of yourself

day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have

day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them

day 20- someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy

day 22- what makes you different from everyone else

day 23- something you crave a lot

day 24- a letter to your parents

day 25- what I would find in your bag

day 26- what do you think about your friends

day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge

day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?

day 29- in this past month, what have you learned

day 30- your favorite song

Baaa... am I a wondering sheep

Great point! I must admit I have been pretty irregular with my chuch attendance (ie not been in a few months) of late so I am both pot and kettle with these comments.
Some of the statements people have said to you are clearly poor theology (God loving us "more" or "less"? Hardly worth addressing- especially if these people are going to chuch and listening to any sermon!) but maybe the motivation is what is interesting...
It seems to me (from my own experience) that people have a couple of different motive when someone seems to leave a church. I think firstly people are forced to confront their  own faith and reasons for attending structured church when a Christian no longer faithfully attends church. Many people probably are afraid to admit to a little jealousy as well!
I think you are right in saying we are not Christians by attending or not, and that non-Christian are found in church and spiritually alive Christian can survive without a church service, but how many?
I think our society relies on the prompting of others, a majority of Australians lack internal drive-that's why we are obese, lazy, and need (want) a government to save for us (superannuation) pay our way and generally take away our responsibilities. This laziness extends to the church and our own spiritual walks. People worry that without a pastor prompting you how can you remember to have quiet times and live a good life? I think this drives people's fear And anxiety of leaving the flock.

Then I must ask myself: why am I not at church? Is it that I am disallusioned by the whole thing? Have I lost my faith? Is it a combination? Personally I did grow tired of people's attitudes at church but in the fleeting moments of self reflection I think I let my own faith grow cold, I was caught up in the task of church and forgot to nurture my relationship with Christ. To quote the band All Together Separate, I grew tired of "wearing His cross around my neck and not have the peace in my heart". I began to feel like Homer in the episode if the Simpsons when he decided that he no longer needed church. In the end he was right in a way, we don't need to attend church but we do need to be surrounded by His people.
I find it hard to nail down my motivation for going/not going to church. Do I need church? Does church need me? Do I feel guilty for leaving "abondoning" church? If so, SHOULD I feel guilty?  Writing this blog leads me to deeper questions, do I still have faith? If so, do I care or will I take my chances and willingly let my already lax spiritual life fall by the wayside in the pretense of not needing church. Will my journey to a closer relationship with Christ be easier in or out of church? Maybe neither, since I should be centred on Christ come what may.
For those who read this article an have made their way this far I hope you can see I am confused and a little lost. I became a lost sheep physically separated from the church a few months ago, but maybe I wondered from the flock sometime before then without even realising. If I manage to find my way home I wonder if that will lead me to the doors or the church? I wonder if I'd be there to join the flock or help the lost sheep realise you don't have to leave the building to leave the church. Maybe I'll just realise it doesn't matter where I am so long as God knows where I am. I might even feel comfortable in church knowing I didn't need to be there anymore.
Maybe not.


Christopher

Blogged from my iPhone... Not that I'm bragging